Rambling!

How naive can people be? This is a thought that has repeatedly bothered me and utilized my thinking energy, more so in the recent past. Maybe its them, maybe its me. I think its because few people have ever been able to understand me.

I dont even remember for how long I tried to find a way to eternal peace of mind, nor when i reached the solution. My answer would probably raise more eyebrows and cynics would have a field day, but it has worked for me since a long time. What i prefer is indifference. It is not an escapist attitude, just thinking about it would destroy the meaning of indifference.

Some of the people around me assume that what they do or dont do, affects me. And the fact is that I would care less. I have got compliments about how I cna keep my peace and not get angry, still be polite to a person when anyone else would have blown his fuse. What they dont realise is that I dont care, I am indifferent to their feelings, whether it is their feelings of happiness or sorrow, anger or pain. Call me inhuman, but it is the best way to absolve yourself of emotions and be content. Why should i give enough importance to a person that he has the capability to make be angry or hurt me?

Now, I am not talking in a girlish way. Its just my understnading that if you dont care if another person exists or not, then you wouldnt care what he does, whether he does well or not, whether he cries or not, whether he passes or fails, whether he lives or dies. Its just the way my head is attuned now, I can do this without giving it a second thought.

I do care a lot about my close friends. But the others who pretend to be friends, or who are mere acquantainces, I dont think it is right to even get angry at them.

Mine might be an easier way. Some people prefer to be frank and tell others what they think og them. Some others prefer to be hurt by others. I dont know where I lie. Most of the time I have never cared whether the otehr person is angry with me. Out of decency I might still find it polite to care. But its not that I would be willing to change my beliefs without sufficient convincing.

A funny incident happened some time back. A supposedly good friend staying with me right now thought that he might make me angry by doing things which I dont like. Now why should I care? I dont consider him a good enough friend to care about him.

Another thing I find lacking in me, but in a good way, is the lack of sympathy for some people. When I think that the people deserved it, I find it amusing that they would cry later when it is they who mad those decisions in the first place. Never be sorry about the decisions you make. This is what it ultimately boils down to.

Well, I was never very very good at writing andputting my thoughts down. Worse when i am a bit drunk. :D
I should read this post agian tomm and modify it.